Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
