dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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