Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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