she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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