i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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