They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This baby is an asshole
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
