Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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