I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize