Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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