Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
