You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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