sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize