Do you still have your period?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
