Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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