I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
