sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
