I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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