Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
