Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
