I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
