My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
