All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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