My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
