I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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