i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
