Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
