you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
