It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You pole danced in your parka.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
