Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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