im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
