I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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