I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
