Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
