Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
