So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
