Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize