All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
