I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
