it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
