is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
