The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
