I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
