oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
