I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This is the high leading the old right now
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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