Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
