i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
