i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You were trust falling into bushes
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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