i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
