Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Me. At least after what I've been through.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
