Tell her she can't have a vagina
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
