she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
