are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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