have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
