Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
