guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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