So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
