farters have to be the big spoon...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
