My friends, they love my intelligence
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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