Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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