You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
