That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
